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From: Andrijeski, Peter

Sent: Friday, December 07, 2007 4:34 PM

To: GM Can Anyone Tell Me Why?

Subject: Christmas Question

Dear Penny,

Have you heard about the War on Christmas? It's really getting on my nerves.

I have a new neighbor to my cube, who shall remain anonymous, but whom I shall refer to as "Biju." Shortly after "Biju" moved into the cube directly across from mine, I tried to make my cubicle a little more festive for the holidays, bringing in some delightful items crafted by my (very talented) Aunt Doris. I was careful to following the building rules – I didn't put anything on the top of the cube walls and I did not include any electronic lights (esp. after the fire last year, but that's another story). For example, I had a paper mache nativity set, a wreath crafted from yarn and green kleenex, and a Christmas mouse cozy that Aunt Doris crocheted. I also brought in a potpourri sachet that filled our work area with an enchanting medley of cinnamon and exotic herbal scents.

My first indication of trouble came when I arrived at my cube a few days ago only to find a small crowd of people laughing as "Biju" blew his nose on my wreath! But Penny, things only declined from there. Now at random times of almost every passing day, "Biju" will suddenly shout out "War on Christmas! War on Christmas!" and promptly destroy some part of my personal decorations! He dumped my vanilla latte on the nativity scene, completely destroying two shepherds and a wise man. At multiple times he has smashed sheep and other innocent animals around the manger with his coffee mug. All the while he's doing this he's screaming maniacally about the "War on Christmas!" and making bomb noises and those uh-uh-uh-uh-uh machine-gun sounds. He sprays blue window cleaner in my fish bowl saying that he is cleaning my fish. Come on, we all know that's not how you clean fish!!!

But that's not all! When I'm not around he'll do other immature things to annoy me. Once he put an up-side-down tack in my mouse cozy on the top of the mouse. Another time he hid an open tin of sardines under my potpourri satchet – and he would NOT admit it when I tried to explain that it to a number of people in the area who were very, very angry about the smell of my potpourri. And yet another time he put peanut butter all over the inside of my mittens. Have you ever tried to get peanut butter out of knitted mittens? It is not easy, I can assure you!

"Biju" is not from American but rather from some foreign country like Siam or San Luis Obispo or something like that. So I can understand him not having the spirit of Christmas and being a little immature by our standards in the U.S. But Penny, this is beyond the pale! And yet when I complain to my boss about it (multiple times, I can assure you!) he only laughs or tells me he can't do anything about disciplining this person because he's a GDS. I don't even know what a GDS is, but should that give him the right to ruin Christmas for people? I think not!!! I am looking forward to your advice on how we can keep "Biju" and anyone else who is a GDS from rabidly attacking our cube decorations and ruining our Christmas.

Pete

No answer from Penny!!!